The last two weeks have been a time in which I have done a lot of thinking into what this whole deal about living really is. Under extreme circumstances, I was placed in a situation which made me alone……to myself……trying to figure out what exactly I want to do in my lifetime. One thing I’ve come to except is that, from the day we are born, we live and keep learning new things and old things all over again and again. The cycle of change and inevitability…..I think that’s what I would call it. I can safely say that within these two weeks I’ve learned much about myself and others as well…..its been a time of facing reality and at the same time confronting various problems which have been haunting me. The end result?.....only time will tell I guess, but, me being me……I’m willing to be positive and think about the future with timorous fear and awesome excitement at the same time!!!.

I’ve come to realize that each and every individual on the face of this planet lives their lives being fixed on to one thing and then on to the next. It’s like this deep craving inside of us to be really appreciated and needed and at the same time expecting things to work out the way we think it should work out…..when it rarely does. I’ve come to except this fact now…..it’s taking sometime to materialize fully, but I’m getting there.

Then there’s the other side of the coin, which leads us to believe that there really is no hope for true happiness out there. We witness so much hurt and pain in our lives, we shut ourselves out from anything good that’s happening to us even, being afraid that getting too close would only lead to utter disaster in the end……there really is no hope!   ( personally I beg to defer…..but that’s just me)

Summing things up, this is what I know about myself from now on…..I’m born to be a passionate person at whatever I do and the times that I do really put some real constructiveness in my life is few and far in between, but then again…..who’s freakin perfect eh?. All in all, life’s a journey and hurt, pain, suffering, unhappiness and all other negative emotions are part of the cycle of life……..true…….but let me tell u this people…….I’m not a quitter…..and I also believe there’s a lot of happiness, joy, contentment, glee and pure soul uplifting also to experience along with all the negative aspects. I only wish, my mistakes will not haunt me for the rest of my life and ruin whatever I’ve tried to make right in my life! –BUT, I will survive…..and will not lose FAITH even if the skies were to fall on my head right now……as good ol Vitalstatistix used to say!!

 

Take care readers……and have FAITH…..never lose hope!!!!....it might be knocking down your door right now!!!.....you just need to open your eyes!

Well first of all let me say im quite excited in starting up this blog. Eventhough it maybe eons after the whole blog fad rose and to an extent fallen.....but nonetheless, this is a joyous occasion, and I hope I am able to make some interesting entries for all you people out there to read and ofcourse.....add your comments!....hehe.

Cutting to the chase, lets see, today was highlighted by a very strange occurence while i was online!. You see, I had this dude I had on my messenger contacts and until recently I never actually talked much with him but we got chattin. About two days ago i spoke to the guy and he said that he was 16 yrs old and he wanted to be my younger brother!. At first I thought thats kinda cute!, this little kid wanting to make friends from a totally different part of the globe (by the way the guy is from turkey) Anywayz I gladly accepted to be his 'elder brother'. Yesterday we got chattin online again and he told me he was a hacker!, I was pretty impressed I must say, but then today came the final punch!.......turns out he's a freakin.....I dont know what to call him!!!.....getting back to my story, he asked me if I was gay?.......ofcourse I said I wasn't!.....actually, just to spark my curiousity I told him I was and then he wanted to fuck me!. Later I went on to tell him that I really wasn't gay and he was barking up the wrong tree, but then he started denying his first stance on the whole gay issue and said he actually was not gay!.......I know......I was confused as hell!. Anywayz one thing led to another and he starts callin all sorts of explicit shit I'd rather not elaborate on right now. Ofcourse now I had every reason to have some fun and I gave him my own understanding of the metaphorical rhetoric which finally inclined him to go offline!.....hehehe......he also threatened to hack my computer too!!!.....and no, he didnt know shit about hacking either!. Soooooo......the main point which I was trying to get to is that I was actually explaining to this close friend of mine how close a buddy this guy was to me (which actually I wasn't).....and just to add the icing to the cake.....I had to eat my own words cause the guy turned out to be a real wierdo!. So people.......next time you start making judgments about people you dont know, or even people you do know......think twice....cause really speaking, its very little we do know in general.....so lets try to be more analytical and careful before drawing to conclusions.....if not arriving to a conclusion at all!!!.

 

Jiza OUT!